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What I Want
©2007

What do I want in a relationship? Besides the obvious? There is the emotional connection, the intellectual stimulation, a sense of humor that can encompass raunchy to tasteful (but mostly raunchy), a physical attraction, shared interests and common goals. But how is this different from what anyone else wants? How does this narrow down the candidates and why are some selected and not others? What do I want?

I want someone who is practical and analytical, who thinks things through logically with all the facts, but someone who includes his emotions in the list of those "facts". I want someone who is in touch with his emotional side but doesn't let it rule him, who can appreciate art and intuition and "gut feelings" and passion tempered with a healthy dose of skepticism. I want the passion and creativity of an SP with the logical analysis and practicality of an NT. I want someone intelligent who is not so high-brained that he can't appreciate Bill Murray or the Brat Pack.

I want someone who understands there is a time and a place for everything, but who is not afraid to break with convention, who holds his beliefs strongly and won't compromise them, whose beliefs all stem from a core belief of freedom mixed with responsibility for a fair and balanced life for all with a foundation firmly rooted in reality, someone who is willing to fight for his beliefs and the liberties of others.

I want someone to love me for who I am. I am cynical and cranky and stubborn and self-righteous and arrogant, but I'm loyal and passionate (underneath a cold and practical exterior) and equally creative and logical and you'll never know which side takes priority in any given conflict. I want someone to love me just as passionately as I love them, even if the outside world thinks we're too practical and too cold. I want someone to show me they are passionate about me by knowing me well and doing those unique little things that mean so much to me even though they are contrary to what society says is important or even if I give him an "out" or he doesn't understand why it means so much. I want sex to be important but not all-encompassing. I want those little day-to-day mundane activities to be shared and special, but not the full extent of our relationship. I want a spark. I want for someone to look at me with the passion in his eyes that makes me know how much he wants me, and to look at me with the tenderness that tells me how much he cares. I do not want to be someone's Only One, nor even his Most Important One, but I want to know that I am irreplaceable, that my presence in his life matters to him, that he is willing to rearrange and compromise in order to keep me in his life. I want to know that sometimes he is so overcome with desire for me he sometimes can't help himself, even if we're not in the "proper place or time". I want to know that sometimes he is so overcome with love for me that sometimes he just has to reach out and touch me, even if it's with the barest caress with the fingertips, just to feel me nearby. I want someone who can leave me because of prior obligations or important unforeseen circumstances and will not let his desire or love impede his ability to respect his responsibilities, such as those for a job or a friend or a relationship. But he will let me know he has conflicting wants and that I am one of them.

That's What I Like About You
Trisha Yearwod

I like a man who's crazy about me
I like a man who can live without me too
That's what I like about you

I like a man who will lay down beside me
I like a man who will stand up to me too
That's what I like about you

Don't want a man to be my twin
Under my thumb, under my skin
Don't want a man like a shadow on the ground
With nothing else to do but follow me around

I like a man who will cry on my shoulder
Who don't mind if I cry sometimes too
That's what I like about you

I like a man who can make it happen
Who can get me laughing when
my whole world breaks in two
That's what I like about you

You can be soft, honey, you can be strong
Maybe that's the reason we get along
Everything you do, you do just right
You're tender in love, tough in a fight

I like a man who will lay down beside me
Stand up to me, cry on my shoulder
Crazy 'bout me, can live without me too
That's what I like about, can't live my life without,
That's what I like about you.

The Inn Between © 2002